Creative Writing Monologue – How did I end up like this?

How did I end up like this? Slashed up and left to die in a part of Bristol that Tourist Information is in denial as to its existence. wherefore would I even consider agreeing to such ludicrous terms? How some times has my go said unrivaled of those embarrassing Irish sayings that no-one says or told you Dont talk to stranger, or Dont let your father be your role model or youll end up dead right like him. substanti all(prenominal)y I bet my Mum n invariably envis geezerhoodd me sharing my fathers grave sooner her. Its looking more bloody likely with e very minute that goes by. break upIm eighteen I should be with friends on the town, drinking and trying cig arttes, not slowly bleeding to death. In its time this is the kind of road that would be full of tourists who cant afford to go abroad and want a chinkdy seaside holiday well Bristol seems to pick up fallen to bits, straightaway its postcode more than a grimy alleyway. Im not even sure if I brought this situation upon myself just another one of those innocent victims of inner urban center youth gangs. I can already picture my mother on GMTV, asking pointless question which were unlikely to be answered, precisely when they are they draw an inevitable dead-end.Pause, SpluttersWhen youre approached by twelve or so aged(a) boys you keep your head down, make no eye contact and passport on by. Except on this occasion they closed in on me. I felt trapped like a helpless animal, my legs disacknowledged my witticism which was urging them to run. They said they wanted me to perform some sort of task. As the group distri simplyed my duty I remained silent and still, although my brain had commenced a fighting I didnt argue. But somehow, without being told, I knew there was extensive risk with the task in hand. They spat threats at me though I had not even considered disobeying my assignment for one moment.Pause, ChokesI gathered I was to be a courier and de animate(p)r goods and not under any dowery was I to be prevented from completing my task, regardless of what crossed my path be it another gang or the police. I asked no questions as I expected to hear no answers (or if there were any single bootless ones). They all implied that the consequence for getting caught would most likely be death. At that I began to panic, taking deeper and deeper breathes, having this premonition of being brutally killed. I should have known at that very moment that this situation that Im in now was unavoidable.Pause, Chokes againI just wish life was like one of those lame TV shows where the hero is on the brink of death but summons up the strength to save him as well as the good looking girl that invariably accompanies them. I want just a few more minutes with my mother to make up for all that I have done. When I was young, my father gave me an option he said Wayne, are you going to be a Mummys boy or a pops boy? From that very moment I made a decision that would be my burden for the rest of my life. I was of all time a Dads boy and followed a similar youth to that of my older brother Ashley I would look up to Ashley he was who I wanted to be. Dad was always showing off his first born, until he walked out at the age of 15 that is.Pause, Single TearShortly after his departure my pop committed suicide. My life went downhill and every day seem to be a new low. I blamed my mammary gland for my fathers death and taunted and charge her of pushing before he jumped. Although it was not true it gave me great gratification hearing my mothers muffled tear and sobs from her room. My mother always loved and cared for me and was very compassionate towards me, both before and after my fathers death which is more than I can say for my father. My dad would often abuse me and as I cried he would tell me to man up and do him proud and it was my mother only who questioned the large bruises scattered all everywhere my body. Yet my mum was always there to feed me and put a roof over my head. But my eyes were only for my father so my world seemed to latch on as he made his long ominous decent to the pits of hell. trembling Raspy Breathing So as these boys told me my task in hand, go in my ears was the sound of my Dad saying, so Wayne are you going to be a Mummys boy or a Daddys boy. So not only did I accept that I had no choice, I agreed, I byword it as a gifted opportunity to do my beloved Dad proud and make up for the fact I could neer live up to Ashley. I had my goal in mind and it never occurred to me the order of magnitude of the danger and I never assumed I would get caught. So I was dismayed to walk into a group of men the light in their eyes told me they knew everything.PauseThey were smug, the kind of people when dad was alive he was obsessed with surrounding himself with. Those crocked smiles and worn bashed up faces told me they had fought many wars before. But what shocked me the most was the lack of fear and concern in their eyes. They did what t hey this not because they were forced to like myself, but because they found it them adrenaline and they enjoyed it As they redrew there knives from their pockets and slashed me I didnt resist or cry I couldnt stand hearing my dads voice again, Man up Wayne, man up. I had had enough.Pause, Voice fades as he is dyingBut as this happened I couldnt help but smile to myself. I had seen who was stabbing me, I smiled at him and he smirked back, mocking me. Ashley, who I had looked up to as a child, had rise up back maybe not the way I had hoped, but no(prenominal) the less for the past eight years since he left all I have ever wanted was for him to return. I dont hate him for doing it he was living my fathers dream and had done him proud more than I had ever done.PauseIf I shift my weight I could probably see the name of this god forsaken alley. Terminal Lane, it probably refers to the nearly airport but I think it fits. The end of my journey, a short journey, but never the less an even tful one. Terminal Lane. ChucklesCloses Eyes, Dies.